I just saw a video with you laughing
and talking
and being alive
and cussing
and calling people dick's
and having a good time.
I don't understand how I'm living like this
or any of us are really.
I just want a fucking hug
from BOTH of you.
I want to smell you again,
I want your scent all over me.
I want you to teach me how to draw
and I want YOU to watch me graduate and get married.
WHY THE FUCK DO THE NICE ONES GO FIRST
FUCKING WHY
TELL ME FUCKING WHY
FUCK YOU DEATH
I FUCKING HATE YOU
YOU TOOK AWAY EVERYTHING I EVER LOVED.
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