Today

was a new day for me. Because I ignored all of my o.c.d's and did everything I wasn't supposed to do. It felt empowering. I think that maybe I did this because I wanted to feel like I could control at least something in my life. It felt like I was the boss and I could do anything. But in the end, I just felt incomplete. I wanted to put the shampoo in the soap holder, but I didn't. I put the shampoo on the windowsill where as I'm not supposed to put it either.

I got on the bus that went to the place you told me not to go to today. And I still had everything work in my favor.

Today was different for me, because I put sticky stuff in my hair after I took a shower and I don't care. I care because I have school tomorrow and that everyone keeps saying things that I don't want them to say. But that is something I can't control.

Today was odd because I felt like a new person. Like I had had a miraculous change over night and now I don't know who I am anymore. I didn't have that much of a grasp before, now imagine what I'm going through.

You keep on telling me to "aim for the stars" ... there's 2 ways that's impossible.

#1 being that: I don't know what the stars are or where they live.

#2 being: I don't have a rocket.

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I'm gonna go now.