I just want to crawl up inside of you and never let go
I just want to swing on all of the organs that resemble the strings I pulled to get inside
There's nothing that can say that I haven't been here before
but there's everything that can think that I wasn't.
I don't care if you don't believe me
because I am my own self inside of this shell and it's gonna take steel to crack me open
because I will never crawl out for I am comfortable inside my own film.
I'm swimming around in the intestinal juice and I see thoughts that are being thrown away
because you don't think that they'll be good enough to say.
You can say them to me, I'm ten thousand leagues under the sea.
There's nothing that can say that I haven't been here before,
but there's everything that can think that I wasn't.

I'm gonna run away to the place I like the most
under you heart where I can sit my ass down on your lungs and listen to you breathe.
I want to be the one that floats to your throat when you take the deep inhale of the fresh air that I need to stay alive.
I'll float up inside and tickle your eyes and sit and watch all the changing colors going from one end to the other.
I want to meet all my sisters and brothers and talk amongst ourselves with the organs and the wide open ears to hear us.
Outsiders don't know what it's like, to be inside of somebody that likes me and everyone by my side.
There's nothing that can say that I haven't been here before,
but there's everything that can think that I wasn't.

Listening to Feel Good Inc. whilst taking a shit
is the best thing I've done all day.
Possibly the best thing I'll do this entire month.

There's a lot of things I would just like to say to a selected group of people
but I don't know who those people are yet, and they don't know who I am either.
The light is shining in my eyeballs, burning the film over my eyes until I scream out in pain.
Everything is out to hurt me, everything is out to get me and steal me.
I'm going to be shackled in the basement with nothing else to live for other than my daily serving of bread and water.
That smell of myself rotting away into the walls with the burgundy crusted blood sweeping against my cream colored sweater.
I want to say something but I can't break the stitching that is sewing my lips shut.
I don't know what the words mean, what I'm bound to say.
I wonder who they are.
I wonder who I am.

I just picked up my guitar

at 3:43 a.m. and I just started playing

as if I had an idea in my head the entire time.

As I proceeded to play I just laid my head

down on my guitar and started crying.

I don't know why, but finally playing again got

me incredibly emotional. I got this floodgate

of memories all at once and they all just hit me

in the face. I had an epiphany, I never just be myself

I never just fully let go and show anyone my true side.

My true side just wants to fucking sing a song. I just

want

to come up with a song.

A song that will show what I'm really fucking feeling.

I've had it locked up inside of me for years.

And the only thing that anyone has ever seen were my tears.

That's the only thing you can see, I have all these words that need to come out.

I need a song.

I have never been so sure in my life.

We were running for the bus

and I was holding my hat in place

as my jacket flew open and flapped in the

frigid wind. You turned around and said

to me that you thought I had left you

because of all the profanities that

exited my mouth, that lived in the

heat of my breath in the air

The words that found their way up

the spout and down the hatch of the

the back of your throat,

that are now residing in the mere

pit of your stomach with the

rest of the mucus and true

feelings you feel about me.

What would happen if I punched

everything you really thought of me

out of your stomach?

Would you have any guts left to puke on me?

Or would you just push me down and get on the bus?

Whatever the choice may be; I have more puke with hurtful words

gurgling and churning inside my stomach right now than you'll ever know.

You're gonna have to catch me to find out!

Don't make fun of the way I run..

"I like it when you speak to me in a high-pitched voice.

I like it when you say things like 'Let's pretend we're in a tunnel.'

I like it when you suggest we crawl.

I like it when you extinguish the lights.

I do not like it when you bite me."

-David Shrigley

you're too important to me to ever have to go through what we went through tonight.

the next time that happens, i'll never be the same again.

i love you.