I DON'T NEED YOUR WORDS
I DON'T NEED YOU CRITICISM
I DON'T NEED YOUR CONSTANT BITCHING
I DON'T NEED YOU TELLING ME WHAT GOES ON IN MY MIND
I DON'T NEED YOUR ARROGANCE
I DON'T NEED YOU.

While we were all talking on those concrete stairs today, some crazy senile guy put his dirty sneaker on the stair and touched the bacteria infested railing and sang "PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOYYY, PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC RIIIIGHT!" And, to say the least, it made me laugh hysterically. And in that moment, that same moment, he told us that there would be a nuclear war, and only people with snorkels would survive. I stopped dead in my tracks of uncontrollable laughter and thought, "Hey, what if he's telling the truth?" After he left, I looked at the fountain and got lost in my own thoughts. The one thought that has been replaying in my head since that moment is, "That strange guy I've never met before made me laugh more in that one moment than you ever have before."

Wishful Thinking

Sometimes, when I sit down in front of this and wonder where the time has gone and what sand pile I buried my watch in
I start not to care about you. Or anyone for that matter.
Sometimes, when I sit in front of this, I wonder if you're even still there. Looking at your screen in my dilated pupils waving your pasty, wrinkly hand in my face. Just waiting for me to wave back at the same time.
Sometimes, when I sit in front of you, you don't even look like you. Or talk like you for that matter. YOU sit there and act like a totally different person in hopes of people tapping you on the shoulder and saying, "Hey kid, you're alright."
Sometimes, when I sit on the bus in the morning, I can smell all the people's morning breath and my breath all alike. And for that one moment, all the strangers that I see every day.. well.. we're all connected.
Sometimes, when I think of you sitting next to me on the bus, I start to feel lightning bugs in my stomach like I did those other few times.
Sometimes, when I sit next to you and say "I love you" you don't even look at me anymore. Me and my freckles sitting there in silence waiting for you to brighten us up into happy sunshine's.
Sometimes, when I sit even in the same vicinity as you, I want to leave. Because this floodgate of memories erupts into a violent volcano that could strip everybody of their flesh in a millisecond.
Sometimes, when I sit in front of this, I wonder where you are. And if you will ever be near me.

Yesterday, in a freak accident, some tall, shadowy man bumped into me and mugged me.
Something else happened, though. He didn't mug me for my wallet or my bag.
He mugged me for my soul.
I felt it.
He took my ghost.
As if I wasn't worried enough already what was going to happen to me after I died, at least I had a little bit of hope that my ghost would burst out of my body and stroll the earth for another lifestyle.
I don't have that option anymore.
No, now I get to sit back in my chair and ponder even MORE about what's going to happen to me after I die.
Maybe my body will generate another ghostly soul.
or Maybe I'm just wishful thinking.
or Maybe the man wasn't real, and he himself was a ghost.
Afterall, he did have un human like qualities to him.
Weird features and a shadowy figure up close.

Maybe this isn't a freak accident.
Maybe...this is all meant to happen.
If this is a dream, I'm not waking up.
This is the only thing entertaining in my life.
Pretty pathetic, huh?

A stranger made me smile today. More than once. It felt good. Felt better than anything I've ever felt for a long long time.

I'm sick of you maniacal smile you do when you know you're ruining my day. With your yellow smile, it's plaquey too. I dislike plaque and I dislike you.

My face starts to ache when I'm hungry. Along with my bones.