Who do you think you're kidding?

Nothing is important to you, not even yourself.

prude

i'm a prude.
i treat people like shit.
i use people.
i'm not a good girlfriend.
i don't like making people feel good.
i'm stupid.
i don't listen to people when they talk.
i'm selfish.
everything is about me.
nothing is about you.
everything that comes out of my mouth starts with "i".
i don't understand simple concepts.
i feel equally like shit.
i'm crying.
you hung up on me.
over.

there..happy?

I was rolling down the highway on the bus, and this song was playing, and I forgot the name of it and where it was from, but it made me feel like we were living in the suburb world in that one music video where we weren't allowed to just be teenagers. Sometimes in real life I feel like that and it really depresses me and then I just don't know what to do, I just kind of sit there and close my eyes and wonder what it's going to be like if all I'm going to amount to is riding a bike to and from the kwikee. I don't understand what everybody wants me to do, I don't quite understand why you hate me, I've never done anything to anybody and all I'm trying to do is sit and be a teenager. Just let me do what I want to do, we don't have much longer. We don't. Cancer is becoming and everyday occurrence, and an every day thought in my mind every time I light up a cigarette.

I thought

you were more than that.
I thought you were more than the same old stereotypical female walking down the sidewalk begging for sex so she can get money for alcohol.
I thought you were more than her, who is now leading a more miserable life than she was before.
I thought you were more than me, better than me, and stronger than me.

You've made this evident that you are not more than me. I thought you were.
Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself, and neither should you.



Nympho.

I will never

let myself be completely taken over by someone ever again.
I think the moral of the story is, "life's not fair."

CUNT

It's funny seeing you live your life as a cunt.

blah blah blah
you're so fucking stupid
blah blah blah
i'm better than you
bitch bitch bitch
i'm so ugly, nobody likes me
whine whine whine


shut the fuck up, and get the fuck out. for good.

pretty soon, i'm going to die,
under that tree.

inspirationhasleftthetopsofmyfingersheatisescapingthetopofmyheadit'scoldoutsideandi canseemybreathandi'mblowingoutcigarettesmokeandyoucan'tstopmeandiknowit'sunhealthybutidon'tgive
aflyingfuckiamwhoifuckingamandifyoudon'tlikemeputmeinagrouphomeandletmecleanthehardwoodfloors
withmyfuckingtonguesoicangetsplintersinmytastebudsandtastethesmellofcopperandbloodmywholeliveinglife
ifuckinghateyouandhimandeverybodyalikeandijustwantallofyoutoleavemeinmycacoonsoicanwriteabouthowi
feelalldayandi'mtypingwithnospacesbecauseit'stheonlythingihavecontroloverrightnowiwantcontrol.

As much as i fucking hate you
and wish you would die
and everything like that..

i can't help but bringing up "remember when" stories about you.

stop invading me, please.

I used to really really love you.
Now you're sort of just.. there.

I AM HAPPY

The way you try to carry yourself so prim and proper is just utterly sickening.
How can somebody actually look at you and think you're cute? There is not one single thing on that pitiful fucking face of yours that is endearing. Everybody you meet can see right.fucking.through you. You're nothing to anybody, and everybody is nothing to you. Nobody holds you on a high pedestal and nobody thinks you're a golden trophy. Just please, for once in your fucking mess of a life, realize that you're just someone's fucking toy. You're somebody's unwanted baby doll thrown away by a careless child. Get the fuck over it and wonder your ugly ass off to the wonderland of abandoned toys. That's your home, now.

NaNoWriMo

Today, begins the day that I enter the world of "literary abandon".
All I need now is myself and a nice, hot, steamy cup of coffee.
I don't need school, and I don't need you.
It's me and my novel. So, step aside, please.