Nobody

is here, nobody is looking, nobody sees it from where she see's it. Nobody is alive inside of their minds, everybody has tuned out and everybody is just a mannequin for you to talk to while you're lonely. Everybody has gotten cold while they were standing there talking to their loved ones about maybe one day being equal, about one day being clean and healthy and not having to worry about the apocalypse they would soon encounter. As everybody sat in that diner and talked about what they loved to do in the past life that they once had, because they can see right before them that the earth is engulfed in an inferno, no colors except for orange and red and that nasty color of black soot filling the air. They all cry and they all smile because they know that they're going to be nothing soon. They know they'll be crawling into small tiny spaces for the next 3 hours, in hopes of escaping to death the safe way. They all want a detour, they all just want another way. But everybody has tuned out, checked out mentally and physically while they hang from their nooses in front of the milkshake machine. Colors begin to come, the brightest white.. when all colors intertwine together like the couple's hands are in the corner, to make the brightest white visible to the human eye. Everybody's faces, slowly turning to ash, that awful green ash of your existence from now on, lying on the ground for other people's shoes to make imprints on. The flash carved into people's minds as the same thing that happened to their mother, or their grandpa will soon happen to them. The little girl in the red dress screams out in rage and disgust and awe, she wants her grandpa back. But all she can think of is how the last time he looked at her, he fell to the floor and turned to that wretched green ash, and how her red dress will soon mean nothing to anybody. Nobody sees it the way she sees it because nobody is there to see at all.

It's sort of funny how things work out sometimes. Like when you're not expecting to be shaken awake by a strong, hairy man hand. Even if you're having an in-depth dream, the strong, hairy man hand doesn't care. That hand directs everything except for me. Because when it shook me today I didn't wake up. I knocked myself unconscious.

Monotonous

It's kind of really boring how you talk and talk and talk in circles
and how I could slowly but surely feel my eyes glazing over with this filth that I've never felt before. All because of your words. It's like, they almost sort of hit me right in the face like a freight train, just hit me unexpectedly while I'm about to close my eyes and drift off into my own world of words. Not your words of course, because yours are pieces of shit and if I could, if they were visible in the midst of it all, I would just smack you and shove those shit words right down your throat where other things belong. I hope this kills you inside and out, because we both did.

Hah

Today, I'm getting a lot of attention just because I have a safari on my wrist.
It's really funny and cute.

Firstly

For the first time today, I lost my mind. Literally, I lost it. I misplaced it. For a second there, I couldn't think of anything and I couldn't even understand what was being said to me directly and loudly. It felt weird to not know anything. It felt kind of awesome to feel like a new born and not know how to hear or comprehend anything. I felt like I didn't know what my own name was. It feels kind of cool, I think I would like to experience it again sometime.

B.S.

I would give anything just to see those colors flash before my eyes again, like they did that one night in the grass. I would give my whole life just to see you trip and fall again, because that made everything so silly that day, even though it wasn't meant to be. I hope with everything that one day I could get a piggy back ride from you somewhere up in the sky, we could bounce from cloud to cloud just stirring up trouble. I dream that one day we'll all come together in unison and just throw the towel in together and just forget about all the people that tried fucking it up for us. I hope we all realize, that nobody can tell us what to do or where to go or who to see, but only we can control that. We control our emotions and the things we choose to see and hear and smell. If you don't want to see it, pretend you're blind. If you don't want to hear it, cover your ears and scream at the top of your lungs. And if you don't want to smell it, cover your nose or dig your face into somebody's good smelling hair. I hope one day, we can all just sit at the table and color. Some people will decide to color in the lines and others will attack the paper with multiple colors and have no problems with it. It should be like this one day, it would make everything worth the while, worth the wait of life.

Y'know, in the middle of writing this big paragraph I've been thinking up for a while now.. I just thought of death. Every time I think of death I think of a dried up desert and a tumbleweed. I've been thinking of it a lot lately and it gives me chills, not the good ones, the ones that feel like scorpions stinging away at your skin.

I love

how typo's can make a robotic human that works every day and does everything he/she is told, can make them look a little more human than myself.

Hm..

I don't know what to do about this anymore.
I've lost all senses from this itty bitty feeling.
I'm thinking I should stop. But then I feel like I shouldn't ignore it, but embrace it.


Embrace it, it is.

It's surprising

how intricate something so tiny can be.
I studied a helicopter today. It whisped it's way past all the apples in the tree and took a breather right there on my left shoulder. I was eating some french fries and drinking some Hawaiian punch when it decided to come and pay me a visit. It knew what day to choose because I felt pretty sick all day long and it felt nice to have something drop by like that. I may sound crazy when I say this, but, I told that helicopter how my day went. Just me and the helicopter talkin' up a storm. It felt really good. Then my puppy came and payed me a visit also just so he could get some french fries. I shooed him away because this was my time with my new friend. This was no time for intruders. After I was done carrying on the way I do, the helicopter started to take flight with the next big breeze that rolled by. I formally said goodbye to it and told it to come back some other day. It had a little chip in it's wing, so I can tell it apart from all the other millions in my side yard.

Today was okay.