YOU

are so confusing.
more confusing than math.
which is pretty confusing.

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Awesome. I smell like piss.
Thanks New York pissbag.

fuck

listening to these songs really makes me regret being alive for that year.
i absolutely hate everything about it.
i wish it never happened.
i wish YOU never happened.

It's clear to me now, that you have forgotten about me and everything I have done for you. I nourished you back to health several times, I accepted you when nobody else thought you were acceptable, I basically brought you into the world of girls.

But it seems like all that's no good.
All that has gone down the drain and will forever stay floating aimlessly in the ocean.
You could give two shits about me now, and when I woke up today I finally realized it.
I shed a few tears or so, but I'm gonna stop trying to talk to you all the fucking time.
Because you don't realize anything that I did. I did so much, SO much for you.. for you to just take it all for granted and spit it in my fucking eye.
But like I said, all that's no good.


Is this really happening? Or is this a dream?
Nope, it's as real as it'll ever be.

I feel like for the first time, I spilled my guts out onto the table and you accepted it.
I like that.

I saw

3 little asian boys playing in their front yard today and they were so fucking cute that I wanted to cry. While I was observing how much fun they were having on a gloomy day like today, I wondered if I could ever have as much fun as they were on a gloomy day. It seems like I can never just have too much fun with my friends. I just want to play in the grass and build sandcastles in the sandbox. Is that really too much to ask?

maybe you'll watch this

when people come and whisper "goodbye, i love you" into my ear i can hear them second guessing themselves on either if they should have said "see you later" instead of "goodbye" or if they should have said "i hate you" instead of "i love you".
i've been having feelings about events that are going to happen, and then they end up happening. i said that the guy was going to be around the corner and he was. i said in my head that you were gonna say, "sorry for hurting you" and you did.
it's either me predicting things or everything and everyone is getting a little more predictable each day.
i like to think it's the second one.


interesting..

YOU CAN'T FUCKING
CONTROL
EVERYTHING
I FUCKING
DO.
LET ME GO
LET MY FUCKING FLY AWAY
LET ME THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR NEST
I WANT OUT.

those lyrics don't explain us anymore.
you won't come and kiss me and everything has changed.
you won't come to my house and surprise me with one simple flower.
i'm hanging by a string and you won't come and catch me if i fall
you said you wanted me to leave and you said you didn't want me to look at you
but i wanted to look at you because you're so cute when you're distraught
but all of this is falling apart and you're dying to know what i think, well this is what i think.
i think this all the time
but you don't think that i think about it but i do
i wanted to write you a letter and i couldn't
i want to go home
i want to walk through my door and take a huge breath in and just soak all the independence inside of me
after that i would probably hide in your chimney to see if you still liked me
you wouldn't you would go in your room and smell the essence of us and then throw up.


i still like you. if that means anything.
but then again, i don't.

i was so happy lately. and now all i'm getting are fuck you's and middle fingers. maybe i should just stop while i'm ahead.

I like

holding you and kissing you and jokin' with you and walkin' with you in the grass and everything like that. i like to pretend that i'm floating in the air when we're talkin' about life and i like to pretend that my feet on the ground don't even exist. i like to think that you're the only one for me except there's another one for me and she's right here next to me. i like to think we would look cute together in patched overalls while layin' down in the grass soakin' in all the sunlight through our pores and everything nice like that. i like to think that i love you. i like to think you love me, too. i like to know when you're there, i can lean on you when i'm weak and things, and i like to think that when nobody else is there for you, you can lean on me, too...





and everything like that.