You

walked away from me today and realized how beautiful you really are.
You're so awesome, we go together just like a puzzle.
You're with me.

I guess

my pill is stuck in my throat sideways and I can't swallow anything. It doesn't matter because I'm not allowed to eat today. I'm kind of excited, I eat way too much. I'm listening to your c.d. and it makes me think of myself, not you.

I love you

but I'm not pretty. I don't fit in with you. I don't deserve you.

Today is a day for accomplishments. I'm done with the people who always put me down for being me. For many reasons in itself like the way I dress or look or talk or hug or kiss or cuddle or any of that. You guys can go fuck yourselves. Because today I'm done.

Edit: We were gonna have such great fun tomorrow. exploring and running around like we wanted to. But now, all of this guilt must be piled on top of your shoulders. I hope that it's heavier than the world and that you crumble from your head to your toes. And I hope that I can sit back and laugh at you like you did to me. I hope I can get over this with no problem and just say "fuck you" and throw everything away. I think I might. And I think I may. I think I might not have any regrets towards leaving you. I hope that's normal. I hope I can be myself with somebody else.

doubledoubledouble standard.

you can never just like someone for who they are. everybody will always be flawed to you. not what you like, not who or what you want to be seen with. but you are the most flawed person i have ever met. i'm speaking to everybody that is just like this. the world is sick and tired of your bullshit. it's kind of sad to see someone who could seriously not care as much as you do. and i'm not mad, i just wish you would've cared about me more. because i cared about you.

The green paper monster

I'm over excited because I got candy and money and everything nice like that, that usually makes people happy. Green paper is the answer to all your questions. The reason why married couples soon become divorced ones, and the reason why this country is so fucking driven to do well in life. I don't get it sometimes. Why do things like these get people happy so quickly? They could be having the shittiest day on the face of the earth, but when you hand them that green paper they're all of a sudden on cloud 9. It's kind of funny, actually. Because I saw you get the same way. And I just did. But then soon after that, I came down here and got on Blogger and just started typing. And here I am. Happy as ever, not because of the money but because I'm on here, isolated in my grandmother's basement listening to my long lost aunt talk about the shitty economy. It sucks that our generation kind of made the economy shit. Nobody wants to believe it or say that they are the reason but we really are. Because we could all just not give a shit. I didn't, but just listening to her talk.. I kind of do now. We're all really really fucked.

Institutionalized

is what you are. You're run by a company. A measly little apple. You will spend your life's worth of money on this fucking pointless shit. Whatever this company comes out with, you have. You guys are fucking ridiculous. I'm not jealous. "JEALOUSY WILL GET YOU NOWHERE" you think I'm fucking jealous?! I'm a pissed teenager that can't do shit except sit back and watch her parents spend money on pointless shit. We need groceries, we need other essentials. Our refrigerator is fucking empty. But you don't give a shit, do you? You'd rather sit on your fat ass and fucking play with a machine that is labeled with a stupid fucking apple. I can't wait until I'm 18. I can't wait 'til I get the fuck out of this apple infested house.